June28
My friends, I have recently went through a class and received a “licensed bartender” title. At the point when I received the Liquor Board license in the mail, that title sounded so much better than “Program Manager”
.
No, no, I’m not planning to quit Microsoft and start a bar. But doing bartending at home-thrown parties is just the way to go.
So, a bit of history: my old-time UCLA buddy (and now a Microsoftie) Heiwad suggested we take the “Professional Bartending” class in the Bellevue Community College. And man, this was a good idea.
Some snippets of the class for you:
1) Bottles of alcohol. Everyone has two.
2) Water. Loads of water everywhere. Some in the bottles (did you think you’d be making cocktails from the real stuff? hah!), some on the floor – from successful experiences.
3) Small pieces of sponge are good for practicing your “garnishing” skills.
4) Metal shakers: real bars usually don’t have them, because bartenders steal them
. So get used to having a “pounder” glass (why is it called pounder? cause it holds a pound of beer) and a plastic top to shake your martinis.
Do you really know what a classic martini is? Well, I personally had no idea that it’s just straight-up 2 shots of vodka. The few drops of vermouth don’t count (everyone in the US considers vermouth yucky, not sure why – Europe is completely different). Basically, when you’re ordering a martini, you’re just asking for two shots of vodka, but you’re too… embarrassed to call it just that – “martini” sounds so much cooler
.
And don’t tell me that the olive changes the vodka taste.
More fun stuff from the class:
- Majority of the people taking the class work for Microsoft (uhhh, surprise) and Boeing.
- When looking for a bartending job, if you’re a Microsoftie, you have to say “I sit in front of the computer all day! I NEED PEOPLE!”. Apparently, bar managers relate to that very well. Computers give them a headache.
- More on the bartending interview: it’s almost encouraged to say things like “is it OK if my parole officer comes for a visit once in a while?”. Or, “I need to start working tomorrow – my car is about to get repossessed”. If you work in a bar, you need to be interesting.