Santa Monica Fairmont Miramar hotel. My most favorite hotel in LA, I stay there every time I go on a recruiting trip. They’re not ridiculously expensive, and the rooms aren’t that fancy, but my god, they treat you like royalty.

Early afternoon on a workday, I’m arriving to the hotel directly from the airport. There’s some event I have to be at around 6, so I figure I’ll grab a quick lunch at the hotel. I enter; the outdoors dining room is practically empty.

The waiter asks for my name, starts a pleasant chatter. “Oh Mr. Weinstein, we’re so glad to have you dine with us. Are you in LA for business or pleasure?” For business, I reply, and the pleasant chatter continues for a few more brief moments. The guy takes my order and leaves; a few minutes later, he comes back.

“Mr. Weinstein, since you’re here on business, allow me to offer you an Executive Napkin.” He hands me a black napkin. Everywhere else on the tables, and on my lap at the moment, there are white napkins. I smile with a somewhat misunderstanding, but satisfied feeling. I take the napkin.

“Allow me to take your napkin, ” he says. I give him the white napkin, still unsure of what’s going on. He takes that napkin and departs quickly.

I look at the black napkin and place it on my lap. And then I notice that the fly on my pants was open.

Fairmont Miramar, one reason to be ridiculously rich.

A certain team working on a certain mapping project had the following discussion in their bug tracking system.

Bug Title: There is no Fucking Austria

Repro Steps:
1) Open http://X
2) Type “Fucking, Austria” in the “Location” field
3) Click Locate

Compare the results to a similar find query in the CD version of the product.
Read the rest of this entry »

Me: Folks – I am so horribly sorry, I think I’ve gone mad this morning. I totally forgot that we have a conf call. Rather unbelievable, very, very sorry. Hope you didn’t wait too long

T.: We were still waiting until we got this mail. Quite awkward really as we ran out of things to say at 5:03/9:03. And while we waited, my stock in AIG tanked, D. practiced playing bagpipes (badly), my house was flooded, my kid was left waiting at the school gates, N. decided to become a plumber, my car got a parking ticket, and I stood up my wife – for dinner – on her birthday – and now she’s leaving me – for a plumber!

But hey, no problem.

Однажды у Киссинджера спросили – Что такое “челночная дипломатия?” Киссинджер ответил – О! Это универсальный метод! Поясню на примере. Вы хотите методом челночной дипломатии выдать дочь Рокфеллера замуж за простого парня из русской деревни. – Это невозможно! Каким образом?

- Очень просто. Я еду в русскую деревню, нахожу там простого парня и спрашиваю: – Хочешь жениться на американке? Он: «У нас и своих девчонок полно» Я: «Да. Но она дочь миллиардера» Он: «О! Это меняет дело»

Тогда я еду в Швейцарию на заседание правления банка. Спрашиваю: «Вы хотите иметь президентом ядреного сибирского мужика?» – Фу – говорят в банке. – А если он при этом будет зятем Рокфеллера? – О! Это меняет дело!

Еду к Рокфеллеру. Спрашиваю: «Хотите иметь зятем русского мужика?» Он: «У нас в семье все финансисты!» Я: «А он как раз президент Швейцарского банка!» Он: «О! Это меняет дело! Сюзи! Пойди сюда. Мистер Киссинджер нашел тебе жениха. Это президент Швейцарского банка!» Сюзи: «Эти финансисты все дохляки!» Я: «Да! Но этот – ядреный сибирский мужик!» Она: «О-о-о! Это меняет дело»

A totally ancient, but very funny joke.

Was: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/another_victory_of_the_renowned_chef.html

Now: Another Victory of the Renowned Chef (PDF)

12/6/07: You wouldn’t believe it, I got a takedown notice from Seattle Times. Removing the page, and just keeping the PDF for reference

“The law says a person owning a house in the Bahamas valued at more than $500,000, having the means to reside without being employed and being of good character can be eligible for Bahamian residency.”

MSN news…

У меня на двенадцатое сентября запланирован экзамен на Американское гражданство. И я, как настАящий паЦан, сижу и штудирую историю колонизации и прочие глупости. И вот, в какой-то момент, я из кухни спрашиваю Ирку (она в гостиной, слышно плохо):

- Какой у нас гимн? Read the rest of this entry »

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. 

There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini-skirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. Read the rest of this entry »

Жил-был человек, в молодости мечтавший стать великим писателем. Когда его спрашивали о мечте, он говорил: “Я хочу написать нечто такое, что будет читать ВЕСЬ МИР, что будет пробуждать в людях СИЛЬНЕЙШИЕ ГЛУБИННЫЕ ЭМОЦИИ, заставлять их ПЕРЕЖИВАТЬ, ПЛАКАТЬ, МЕТАТЬСЯ, РВАТЬ НА СЕБЕ ВОЛОСЫ, КРИЧАТЬ……”

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